I am not in Kansas anymore I mean Calgary
by twinklesilverstar
Summary: A run of the mill accountant is thrown into the one piece world and finds herself working for a rather unsavory character - one Donquixote Doflamingo. Follow her misadventures of trying to keep herself from being killed in a strange world and trying to find a way back.
1. Chapter 1

AN: I won't lie this is my first time actually attempting to write something for FF. The main reason I am is simply so I can become a beta for those that are looking for one. Personally I do not think I can write to save my own life however I can proof read and edit another person's writing like there is no tomorrow. This is my attempt at someone being thrown into the one piece world and not having them have crazy powers/skills. If its terrible I will take it down as ask for your forgiveness.

I own nothing but the OCs

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I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as well as the sweat that was running down my back. I was panting trying to get more air into my lungs, what I wouldn't give for an ice cold glass of water right now. Not to drink but to throw in my face, I needed to shock my body into calming down. Sounds crazy right? Crazier is the fact that right now I'm hiding in a closet in some strange mansion, lord know's where. Let me back up a little.

I'm Mel, your average everyday accountant. I work nine to five, Monday through Friday, have a tiny office that I share with another accountant who works for the same company as I. However she works on a different section of the budget than I do, she covers personnel and I cover everything else. Might sound a little unfair but believe me everything else is far easier to figure out than salaries and benefits. I digress, sitting in said office minding my own business double checking my figures on a few projects before I send my latest budget report to my boss I was looking forward to soon heading home for the weekend.

It was about three thirty when I had all the paper copies printed and ready to deliver to the boss man's office. He was a little old fashioned and refused to check the reports on "the hell spawned thing" that was his computer. Along the way I found myself daydreaming about the weekend, I had plans to sit at home with a nice bottle of wine and a good book. When I find myself on the ground and my files scattered everywhere. The queen bee of the hive was out and she did not like me. At all.

"You should pay attention to where you're headed Ms. Allen!" Tilt your head back a little more blondie i'm not quite sure you're starring in the overhead lights yet. "Sorry Mrs. Penny, I took the corner a little too fast." Yea yea I know I should stand up for myself but at the ripe age of twenty-seven I had learned it was far easier to go with the flow than to make waves. "Would you mind helping me with the papers I dropped? I'd like to get them to Mr. Worthington's office so he can review them before the end of business day" Foreboding chill from queen bee's smile.

"Oh you mean these papers? Oops I didn't mean to drop them in the shredder. I guess you'll just have to redo them" I really do not understand what this woman has against me. I think a large part of it is how I share an office with Robyn (previously mentioned office partner) and she has a cubicle in a giant room full of them. Finance has its perks. "Well these things happen. Thank you for trying to help, good thing I always keep a backup of my files." I waved at her as I headed back to my corner of the world "I hope you enjoy your weekend" drama queen.

Things got better for me once I got back to my office. Robyn was gone and IT was trying to figure out why she was locked out of her computer. I sighed and sat down in my own worn out chair, attempting to log back on to reprint the report. I got annoyed looks like Robyn isn't the only one, I was locked out too.

Almost an hour later the IT guy left after a failure to get both of us back online, stating it wasn't the computers or us but the network. So being an IT guy he left to reset our connections to the mainframe. Robyn and I were sat in our chairs, I was scowling and she was reading. I was going to be a while getting to my wine bottle that was clearly calling my name from the counter in my apartment. "I still don't understand why you let queen bee do that stuff to you and not say anything."

"Because if there is one thing that old coot has taught me since I started working here its to let the small stuff go. Even if the almighty one queen bee herself needs two parking spots for her ego she is still small stuff. It's not like I have to redo the reports just print them."

"So you say, speaking of old coots Mr. Worthington is leaving now so we might as well pack up"

"You have got to be kidding me!" I felt the desk hit my forehead as I dropped it there "I swear something is wrong with today"

"Ah well the report can wait till Monday, see you than Mel. Please do not spend the weekend sulking because you didn't get the report to him before the end of the day. He doesn't need it every Friday you damn keener." I groaned at her and waved her off not looking. Reaching for my bag I muttered the words I may come to regret for the rest of my natural life. "I wish I was somewhere else right now." Next thing I know I black out and wake up in the same position. Head on a desk life surface and sat in a chair like object with armrests.

Except when I lifted up my head there was not a blank monitor with a sign here sticky village around the edge. There was some palm trees, lounge chairs, a giant man wearing a pink feathered jacket, a pool, a few women in bathing suits, some towels hanging over a few chairs and a giant couch. Rewind. A giant man wearing a pink feathered jacket. That one sounds out of place at the moment or as out of place as the scene can get considering where I last remember being. With the tackiest purple sunglasses I have ever seen my wears something like that? Lord above, those are the hairiest legs I have ever seen in my life. "fufufufufu what do we have here?" seeing the large man look at me at like that sent my primal side into a panic mode. Now most humans have a flight or fight response when they feel like they are in danger. Some of them fight tooth and nail to protect themselves. Others run away.

Guess what I did, muttered "Oh crap" and took off like a bat outta hell. While running for my life I noticed a few things that also seemed a little out of place. Like the fact I could see a large body of water and smell salt. That tells me that is the ocean, I live in Calgary, the ocean is roughly a thousand kilometers away. Another is how the sun which before I went nighty nighty was three-quarters of the way through the sky was now about a quarter of the way up. So unless I was out for over twelves hours something weird is going on. Third is how there are some strangely dressed people here. I have seen strange before but this may take the cake.

Seeing a large archway I took my chances and darted inside, the hallways were huge but I did not feel the need to stand there and look at how fancy it was. Taking a corner to head further into the house I checked behind me. Lanky was following, but he looked like he was waddling and was staying pretty close. I kept running and started to try and force my body to go a little faster. "I should have taken Robyn up on her offer to go running with her. I hate cardio" When I turned a down a few more hallways I knew I was lost so I did the next thing that came to mind in the flee panic. Hide. Which is why I am now in a closet hoping I can control my breathing so if the big guy walks by he won't hear my wheezing.

I was pretty thankful I was back to breathing normally when I heard someone walk by, from the sounds of it I am pretty sure it was the big guy. I held my breath until I was sure he had passed on, seconds turned into minutes while I stood there not moving. Finally I heard the footsteps getting farther away when I left out a sigh of relief. I honestly don't know how long I stayed in that closet for. A few hours at least, the real deciding factor in me leaving my hidey hole was my bladder. I might be on the run but when a girl needs to go she needs to go. Poking my head out I looked around trying to see if anyone was around. the coast is clear. It sure wasn't. Almost as soon as my whole body was out of that closest I felt the tiny hairs on the back of my neck go up.

"Got ya" To say I screamed is one thing. At least I don't have to worry about finding a bathroom now but I need a shower instead. "Fufufufufu, now what led to a pretty little birdie like you ending up beside my pool?"


	2. Chapter 2

I Own nothing but OCs

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Well answering the crazy man with "no idea" didn't lead to me being brutally murdered like I thought it would. Instead he laughed his creepy little laugh and left me in the hands of a woman he called baby 5. Instead of opening my mouth to ask if that was her real name or not since my preserve my own life sense was still running on high have switched on once the flee sense flicked off at being caught. "Keep an eye on the little birdie and see she gets cleaned up" At least this woman doesn't make me feel like an ant. Once the giant guy was gone she turned towards her and held out her hand "Mel, and I am sorry to say this but can you take me somewhere that I can get cleaned up? I may need a change of clothes too after what happened."

Well I was not expecting her response, she grabbed me and began sprinting somewhere with me in tow "I'll help you!" I think there may have been tears in her eyes. I tried to make a mental map of where we were going but Baby 5 moved so fast I was lost by the third hallway. She stopped long enough to open a door drag me in and close it, pushing me towards another door that was open and looked like a bathroom. Stepping inside I was thankful it was even if it was a little different from what I was used to.

At my apartment home I just have a stand up shower, nice and easy. This was a bathtub with a hand held shower head attached to a hose. I see washing my hair is going to be an issue if this is the way all the bathrooms are done here. It may not be long but in the mornings it has enough tangles to break a hair brush. I use to cheat and just run conditioner through it until most of the knots came out. Hopefully I do not have to deal with the bathing facilities here for too long.

Stepping inside I asked Baby 5 for a towel and she pointed out where I could find some while she was digging around in a closest. I guess she was looking for something that would fit me. closing the door I let the water run into the tub while stripping out of my clothes I left everything but my boots in a pile near the door. The flow from the tap was fast, already the tub was filled halfway. Sinking into it I felt my body relaxing into the heat and let out a content sigh. My preservation of life sense must have been slipping because I actually enjoyed it. Turning the tap off I began to clean myself up even if my body wanted to remain unmoving in the hot water.

Clean I stepped out and wrapped the towel around me opening the door a crack "Umm Baby 5 right?"

"Yes?"

"Ah did you find any clothes I can borrow? Mine need to be cleaned after what just happened." She had, and I have to say it was not something I would be caught dead in. It was maid outfit and I am pretty sure if I put it on my private parts would no longer be private. "Not to be rude but do you have anything in the form of pants? I don't think I can wear these" Before I know what's happening an older woman has lent me a pair of pants. I have no clue where she came from. Baby 5 called her Jora, I think. Well the main thing is I have some undergarments and a shirt thanks to Baby 5 and some pants thanks to Jora. Not sure how she ever fit into the pants but beggars can't be choosers.

Dressed in the maid outfit with the pants under the skirt I felt a little more of my common sense returning. Running away may not have been the best idea, first because if I had got away I had no idea where I was. Second I may have pissed off the big pink scary guy which if so could go pretty badly. Before I could even ask Baby 5 some of the questions I was starting to have I found myself being dragged though the place again. Except this time we came out in a familiar area. By the pool and scary man was there sitting on a couch with at least three women pawning at him. The panic meter goes up a notch and common sense takes a nose dive.

I think Baby 5 got the feeling something was up when she felt me tense up under her hand, not knowing why she may have done the wrong thing and dragged me closer to the reason I was tensing up. Even with his whores beside him who were cooing for his attention I could feel his eyes on me from behind the sunglasses. He laughed that creepy laugh of his and leaned forward, seeing as they were being ignored the whores glared at me. Great a better version of queen bee except this time there is more than one. "Why'd you run away little birdie?"

How do I answer this one without seeming like an idiot "I have no idea where I am and you scared me." Bravo me, bravo, no one is going to think you're an idiot at all with that answer. Scary man looked like the cat that ate the canary "You don't know where you are?"

"No clue" Well that makes it a little better. I don't know why but I could myself starting to tremble this guy gave off danger vibes and my life preserving sense was flashing mayday mayday in bright neon lights. "Your on Dressrosa, in the new world" His grin got bigger and I am pretty sure it's because of the confusion on my face. I may not know a lot but all the world but I know Dressrosa is not a country. "That is not helping me at all. Is it in South America?"

His grin fell a little at the question and I felt like I was digging myself a deeper hole. "Never heard of a South America before. Is that where you're from?" Well how much deeper could I go after the last one. "No I'm from North America" scratch that I can dig the hole deeper. "Never heard of that place before either."

"Um both are hard to miss when you look at a map, they kind of take up a chunk that separates the Atlantic and Pacific oceans." Okay that is making it worse shut up Mel, now all of them are looking at you like you're crazy. "What's your name little birdie?" Oh thank the lord a normal question I can answer this one. "Mel. Melanie Allen." Maybe not by the look on his face again. "You go by your last name?"

"No Melanie is my first name. Allen is my surname." This is starting to get weird, maybe i'm somewhere that they put their surnames first. I think Robyn said something like that about one of her in-laws. If looks could kill I think one of the whores would have made me a smoldering pile of ash. Scary man had been staring so hard I had to look elsewhere and I was already regretting it. "Fufufufu" I jumped when he started laughing. "You are a strange little birdie alright Mel. Now" He turned serious again "do you know who I am?"

"Not a sweet clue" I think even the breeze stopped after that comment. I have to be at six feet now, all I need now is a box. I'm thinking a pretty blue one with black dots.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I have to say I am pretty surprised this story has 3 favs and 2 folls after less than 24 hours. I guess I won't have to worry about hauling it down...

I own nothing but the OCs.

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While I was stood there thinking about my pretty blue casket/box some of the other folks around the pool had taken an interest in me. I may have thought them weird but then again I guess the same can apply to me. I get the feeling wearing revealing clothes is a normal for the women around here. Not someone like myself who has never worn a skirt that would fall under the mini variety without a pair of pants underneath. Most of my suits for work had slacks, I think I own two that have memory is a little fuzzy on this due to almost never wearing them but I think both are cut just above my knees. Not that I am self conscious about it, I just see it as undignified. Might have something to do with having a crazy bible toting mother too.

Back to the pool folks, unlike most of them my hair is what I consider a normal color, brown. I see turquoise on a kid and orange on a few whores. I do not mean orange like a red head either, I mean orange like the fruit of the same name orange. Looking around I feel a bit better about my height situation as well. I am not short nor am I tall, at 5'7 I feel like the average height group. I used to get annoyed at Queen bee and her troupe of supermodel height women commenting on how I was short. It got old pretty fast. Here too I seem to stand in the middle ground minus scary man who still hasn't said anything.

Maybe I should have said I hit my head or something. During my internal monologue he finally speaks. "You really don't know do you" It was not a question so I kept my mouth shut. The common sense bar is slowly but surely rising again "Donquixote Doflamingo. One of the Shichibukai, Captain of the Donquixote pirates and king of this Island." Thank god for my internal filter otherwise I would have asked if his name had anything to do with that coat of his looking like a flamingo carcass.

"Anything ring a bell?" Every sense, filter and brain cell I had was going nuts screaming abort, abort, Lie! "Nope" The common sense bar just crashed and burned and my preservation of life sense is building a cross for itself. "Fufufufufu I like this girl, she's staying as a maid." The whores looked happy about that but I sure wasn't. I didn't go to college to get a degree in Finance and Human Resources to clean. More often than I care to admit I hire a cleaner to come clean for me. Dust how I hate thee. "Not that I want to rock the boat here any further because I am pretty sure I came close to death a few times today. But do you have an accountant?" This time it was my turn to watch his face get confused.

"A bean counter? A comptroller? A book keeper?" At every phrase he kept the same look on his face. "Someone who counts your money, tells you have much have coming in and how much you have going out?" Dust you evil son of a bitch I am going to have to deal with you for the rest of my life.

"I did. But I killed him when I found out he was stealing from me" Alarm bells were going off again with the preservation of life sense flashing more mayday, mayday images at me. "You want the job little birdie?" Said sense is now looking like a try you strength bar but its labeled with with varying degrees of how bad things are. Up goes the counter weight, into the bell next to 'Long slow and bloody torture' and takes the bell with it. Ladies and gentlemen the bell is out of the park.

"If it keeps me from cleaning and I get to live. You have a deal" I may have just signed my life away to the devil. "Do you have any of your old accountant's record books still?" Instead of answering my question he reached forward and grabbed me. Next thing I know is I'm sat on his lap which by the way I feel like a ten year old because of the size difference, and he's laughing again. "Time for that later little birdie. For now sit back and relax, let me get to know you a little better. I don't let just anyone near my treasury." Its official my life and soul are hanging out with the devil. I hope he has wine.

From his lap I could see the three whores trying to get his attention again, I don't know why I jumped to calling them that. Why should I care if they want to throw themselves at him, glancing at Baby 5 I tried to send her a mental message of get me the hell out of his lap. I don't think she could sense my thoughts. Have to work on that, from the glaring from the other occupants on the couch she may be one of the few friends I make here.

For the next few hours I sat there and just listened to what they were talking about, answering the odd question when it was thrown my way. By the time it was sunset I found myself being removed from his lap. I hope that awkward moment never happens again. ever. Baby 5 made to start dragging me away again, this time I had the sense to not be dragged. "Baby 5, can we maybe walk. Might be easier than you dragging me everywhere plus I don't really want to feel my shoulder pop out of its socket".

"Sure." I get the feeling she is a woman of few words. "So, Can I ask another favor? Think you have any other clothes I can fit into beside this one. That also comes in the form of pants of some kind? Not sure I can wear this day in and day out?"

"I'll take you shopping tomorrow!" I am starting to feel like this is one emotional women. "So are you just another maid around here than?"

"Yes and No. I am a servant for the young master but I'm also on his crew." This chick is a pirate? Might have to do with my love of disney but weren't pirates suppose to be tan, and I don't know. Gruffer? Old? heavily scarred? She was rather pale and looked like she came out of bed in the morning with a spring to her step, plus I don't think the girl has a mean bone in her body. "Ah, why do you and the others call Doflamingo young master?"

"He's the young master, you should call him that too."Alright then I'll store that in my head to keep it off the chopping block. "You really have no idea who he is or who we are do you?"

"Gee what gave it away?" At least with Baby 5 I was starting to feel more comfortable being myself. A little loud but no bite, my days of thinking it was me against the world were over.

"Most people are terrified of the young master. Yet you just up and agreed to work for him doing something he's killed at least six people for in the past". That didn't sound too bad. Wait rewind did she say six people!? I froze beside her, don't need a mirror to tell me I've gone pale as a ghost and my eyes are dilated. "Six people?"

"Yes, though I'm sure his overall body count is far above that" I suddenly have a vision of him stood over a mound of body with flames in the background. Hey one kind of looks familiar, crap its me. At least I'm fully clothed. "For the record I am terrified of him. All day I've been thinking of him as the scary man." Apparently Baby 5 thinks that is funny. Really funny since she's rolling on the floor holding her side. "Scary man? That's what you were calling him!"

"In my head! Contrary to popular believe I do want to you know, stay alive for more than a few hours!" All that outburst got me was more laughing. Sighing I reached down and attempted to pull the women to her feet once she stopped. At that point I guess my body decided to let both of us know I needed something to eat. At the sound my stomach let out I paled. Damn thing sounds like it hasn't been fed in a few days. "Know where I can get something to fill the tank with?"

Ok slang does not follow well here "something to eat" I clarified. When she nodded I followed after her, at least going along at this speed I can get a sense of the layout of the place. It seems huge, mansion may have been an understatement. This place is more like a palace, wait a thought. Pretty sure Doflamingo said something about being a king so putting two and two together. Yea this place is palace. "Depending on the time later think you could give me a tour of some kind?"

"Why. The young master asked me to keep an eye on you" blink. blink. "Ah, I don't think he meant for the entire time I'm here." Good lord if she is stuck to my side for the rest of the time I'm here I'm going to be one annoyed soul. "Until the young master asks me to stop I'll be with you all the time". A small light bulb is going off above my head. "So you're for all intensive purpose, a glorified babysitter." Oh my, her name is Baby 5 and she is stuck babysitting a woman who is more than likely older than her. As crappy as today has been that is one hell of a highlight.

By the time we reached the dining room I had finally stopped laughing. Baby 5 didn't get the connection when i mentioned it to her. Or maybe she did and she just didn't find it anywhere near as funny as i did. Damn here I was hoping she had a rather large sense of humor after my 'Scary man' comment. On the bright side I am kind of glad, who knows what the young master would have thought of the two of us walking in trying to keep laughter in check.

It smells good in here, looking at the table in the center of the room I can understand why. Dishes ranging in all colors and flavors were placed on the table and from the amount I'm not sure why the table doesn't collapse on the the weight of it all.

Sitting down beside Baby 5 I watched some of the others to make sure there wasn't some sort of etiquette I could screw up. Like my youngest brother's wife who at Christmas dinner one year started filling her plate before pops had said grace. Let's just say I'm still amazed to this day how mom didn't fire her out through the door let alone allowed her to marry her baby boy. Seeing nothing like that I began to fill my plate and watched again. After the proverbial hole I dug today I'll really do not want to finish construction of my casket.

To say it was some of the best tasting food I had ever had in my life was an understatement, mom could never cook like this. By the time I was finished my second helping I had one thought running around in my head. I am going to need some fat pants if that is how meals are served around here. Damn big fat pants. Actually no, big fat yoga pants, with no zipper or buttons to worry about more room for food.


	4. Chapter 4

An: For the record I have no problem with any religion. I am a catholic myself and I think the stuff we do is pretty funny. I hope I didn't offend anyone in the last chapter.

I own nothing but the OCs.

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I think I may have shocked Baby 5, just a little bit by the amount of food I ate. I know I surprised myself but it was pretty good. "Fufufufu, did you enjoy the meal little birdie?" I wonder does he ever take those sunglasses off. "Best ever, being hungry from the start may have helped out a little too. Most I've eaten in a long time in one sitting." I was leaning back in the chair rolling my shoulders to pop the kinks out of my back. Hope he's not in the habit of killing his cooks too, at least I didn't say that out loud. Point for me.

While we had been eating I realized none of the whores were at the table. It was just easier to keep referring to them as that in my head. In truth it seemed like a much smaller group than all of the people that had been lounging around the pool. Still rather surprising how much of the food they had all eaten. About two thirds of it was gone, based on the size of some of the people at the table it wasn't hard to figure out who ate more among them. Mel kept sitting there with her eyes closed enjoying the feeling of being full. Maybe all that running and hiding earlier has something to do with how much I ate. A finger poked her side. Then it happened again. Opening one eye to glare at Baby 5 I guess that was the sign to go. Standing I once again followed after her. I'm beginning to feel a little like a duckling.

Instead of ignoring the request I had made Baby 5 took me around to show me how to navigate to what she deemed were the important areas. First it was back to the pool side area, apparently this was where the young master could be found most of the time when he was on the island. Next was to the kitchen, she explained how the only meal that was served in the dining room was supper. For the rest all members of the household could come and go to grab something from the kitchen, Mel had made a good guess of how supper was served to those the young master considered important. Like the members of his crew or other notable figures. After they finished other member's of the household were allowed to come in and eat at the table.

Guess I'm a notable figure at the moment, or since Baby 5 is a member of the crew and is suppose to be watching me I get a sit down meal with the rest of the bigwigs. Makes sense in a way, bonding time for them when they're not at sea.

Next was Baby 5's room, which lead to Mel's room next. The one connected to Baby 5's by a door. I am so worried I will never find this place again. I mean it is just so far one from the other. Instead of letting me go have a look at the room I felt Baby 5 dragging me somewhere else again. This time it was to the library. I can say I am more than surprised, not that Doflamingo has a library but that it's as huge as it is. At least I will never have to worry about reading material. The last place we headed was for the young master's study, which was where when he wasn't beside the pool he could usually be found. Inside the study was also the door to his treasury, talk about paranoid.

According to Baby 5 there was only two keys for the lock on the doors, one for the young master and one for his book keeper. Great looks like I'll be sharing a space with the pirate that could kill me with no hesitation if he thinks I'm out of line. Oh joy.

Once the tour was finished we headed back towards the rooms, this time I had to lead the way. I did manage to find them without getting turned around so I was grateful. By now it is well into the night, I think i'm up past my bedtime. Seriously if I don't get enough sleep I am one cranky, sour, scowling brat. "Do you have any clothes I can borrow to sleep in?" She got me a loose but once again short nightshirt, it would have to do until the morning.

Finally seeing my room I'm a little shocked, it's just as large as Baby 5's and the reverse layout. Like looking at the room through a mirror. How am I ever suppose to have enough clothes to fill the dresser let alone the closet in here? It's like the size of the storage room in my apartment. Same weird bathroom though, nothing I can do about that guess I'll just have to get used to it. Throwing back the covers on the queen sized bed I flicked off the lights and crawled in. Only to be annoyed by the lack of curtains and blinds to keep the light from outside in. Another thing to add to the list for tomorrow - a face mask.

I woke to a loud beeping the next morning, I'm not even sure when I fell asleep with all that light coming in. Reaching out to my right I slammed my hand down on the snooze button of my alarm clock. Wait a second, there wasn't an alarm clock in that room last night. Rolling over my vision snapped around the room, It was my room. As in my bedroom back home "That was one crazy dream. Maybe there was something wrong with that bottle of wine last night." Stepping out of bed I headed for the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee.

Before I got all the way there I noticed Zeus, my cute little stray calico sitting on his rump staring at the apartment door. "Come on Zeus, it's breakfast time." Usually when he hears my voice he comes running, even more so when I mention a meal time. He ignored me. Walking towards him with his attention still on the door, his ear's didn't even twitch at my approach. "Is Mrs. Harrison out in the hall again making a ruckus. Come here my little one" When I reached for him my hands went through him. I tried again. Same result. "What in the name of god is going on here"

"We've got a lot of talking to do deary" A voice cackled. So there is this old hag stood behind me, in my apartment. In the space between my bedroom door and the storage room door. An old hag in my apartment hunched over wearing a torn shawl and a knobbed up old walking cane. How in the seven hells did an old hag get into my apartment!?


	5. Chapter 5

Sword slasher: Sorry for any confusion it will all become clear at some point

Gmask - Thank you! I'm glad you like it.

I own nothing but OCs.

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Calm down, just need to calm down. There is absolutely nothing wrong with what is going on right now. I just woke up from a crazy dream where I was in another world with pirates. I'm back in my apartment. Where my hands passed through my cat and there's a creepy looking old hag behind me. Yea nothing wrong at all.

"What in the world is going on here! Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my apartment!?" Nice one such an original statement considering my situation at the moment. "How did you even get in here! I live on the seventh floor, and there's locks on all the outside doors" I was waving my arms around like a maniac, if there was more room between us I would have started pacing.

There was a sweat drop running down the side of the old hags face "Ugh, magical being. I don't use doors" I ignored her and continued my own rant. After about fifteen minutes I think she got a little frustrated.

"What was that for?" I felt the top of my head for the bump that was forming, she had hit me with her walking cane. Damn that hurt. "Well maybe if you had of stopped to pay attention I wouldn't have. Why do I always get stuck with the dumb ones?" She tried to whisper the last part but I still heard it.

"Maybe it says something about you if it happens a lot." She looks a little annoyed at that. "Keep going deary, I can clout you again"

"Like an old hag like you has it in you! Shouldn't you be home making brownies for little kids or something?" The only thing that interrupted the two of us from our glaring contest was a knock on my door.

"Mel are you home? You weren't at work but your car was so I'm a little worried. It's not like you to miss work" It was Robyn, wait a minute it should only be Saturday how could I miss work. I whipped my head back toward the old hag waiting for an explanation.

"I was hoping to have this part out of the way before she got here. Passing through the barrier between worlds takes time. It took almost three days for you to transition between the two" Three days. Three days. "What do you mean three days? I lost three days, what do you mean by barriers between worlds? Are you saying i'm in a whole other world?"

"They really broke the mold when they made you didn't they? You haven't found anything strange going on in the world you're in now?" I do not like the way she's sneering at me.

"Seems a little out of the ordinary but nothing that set off alarm bells. I mean other than the bloodthirsty pirate thing. Oh you meant that" Look a little vein has appeared on her forehead. Good.

"Yes that." She was pinching the bridge of her nose. "Back to what I was saying when someone is sent from one world to another it takes time for their body to fully transition. All those hollywood stories and movies where they make it happen like that." She snapped her fingers for emphasis "It's a giant load of crock, even magic has it limits. To you it seemed to happen in an instant."

"So can I blame you for me being over there?" Before she answered both heard the click of a lock. In case of emergencies I had given Robyn a spare key to my apartment, since she was the closest thing in my opinion to family in the area. "Mel, you're scaring me a little. Hi Zeus where is your mama?" My cute little cat meowed at her trying to get out around her feet into the hallway, he must be looking for me. Poor baby, it breaks my heart to see him like that. Robyn reached down and picked him up rubbing his ears. "Come on Zeus lets get you something to eat."

The old hag sighed "Yes and no. I'm responsible for sending someone but it was actually her I tried to send" Pointing her cane at Robyn. "Huh?" Such a nice bright response.

"She was who we had actually tried to send, you went by accident." I just kept staring at her "Just look at her compared to you. In far better shape, smarter, and to be honest better looking than you. Studied martial arts as a child and took kendo lessons, she would actually be able to defend herself if something happened to her. Now lets look at you, the last time you did anything physical was when you moved or when you open up a bottle of wine. You're a klutz and scattered brained, the only thing you are really good at is finance." Nothing like hearing about some of your negative qualities from a complete stranger. It sure is a real eye opener.

"I could have done without the better looking part you know. I won't argue the rest of it." I watched as Robyn filled up Zeus's food dish, then proceeded to check my phone. "She cares more too, looks out for others first." The hag simply glanced at me after hearing that comment. I have my moments where I can surprise people.

"Hi is Christina there? Yea it's Robyn, I was wondering if you had heard from Mel over the weekend. I saw the missed calls." there was a pause I wish I could hear what my eldest sister was saying on the other end of the line. "I haven't either, I'm starting to get worried about her."

I didn't hear the rest of the conversation since the old hag said something that made me tense. If I had of been drinking something I would have spit it out "We still plan on sending her."

"What? Why?" This is not making any sense at all. I feel like I should be having a few stiff drinks, maybe then this wouldn't all sound so crazy.

"As I said you being sent there was a mistake on my part I plan to correct it." Let that sink in a little bit. I have a few problems with that comment. "She'll take your place and you come back here." Oh even more problems with that one, I might not understand the bulk of this but I know one thing.

"No. You won't." This time the old hag was the one to do a double take. "Robyn is married with two small kids at home. If you send her they'll be worried sick about her, I won't let you do that to them. Plus even if you make the switch I won't let you risk her life on a whim, I get the feeling Doflamingo is rather vicious. Unless you can change his memories of me showing up once i'm gone I can see him getting a little angry. Angry enough to kill Robyn if she says anything similar to what I did after meeting him. scratch that, he would just kill her. Why did it need to be her anyway?"

"We choose her because she could change something, something that needs to happen." I'm getting a feeling she is not enjoying this conversation. "How would you even stop me anyway?" From her tone I can tell she's taking a measure of something, not sure what.

"Don't know, but you're not going to send her. Whatever she was suppose to do i'll do, just tell me. No matter how crazy it is i'll do everything I can to change it." She was silent for awhile, I just watched Robyn finish on my phone. Walking around she pulled out Zeus's carrier and began to pack up a few things she would need to look after him. At least he'll be in a good home and I won't need to worry about him.

From under the rags she was wearing I could see her eyebrow twitch. I was going to comment when she did " Very well then." Okay that was just a little bit too easy what in the world is going on here. I was expecting her to hit me on the head again and just do whatever world swapping thing she was going to do anyway. Good thing my bluff worked. "The rules she would have had to follow are the same as what you will have. There is an event that is going to happen in that world, you are going to change it's outcome. You will understand when it happens, if you try to figure it out too early you could change everything. In the end a choice will have to be made, either you will get to stay there or return home."

Before I could ask her anymore questions she hit me on the head. Way harder than last time. All I remember is falling and a blackness that overtook me. I think she also said something at the end too. "When you wake up you won't remember most of this, it will be at the back of your mind hidden away until you need it."

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Elsewhere two figures sat at a table shrouded in blackness, a third made its way in rags moving wildly about. Reaching out and waving her hand it changed from the spotted wrinkled skin into a smooth, unblemished young hand that had be unaffected by time. Her figure straightened and the rags faded into a single robe. "I don't understand your thought process. The girl won't be able to do it. The first one was a far better choice! This one is as useful as tits on a bull!"

One of the figures reached out and rested it's elbows on the hardwood bringing a pair of hands together to rest a chin upon. "Calm down Lillian. The future is not set and after the events we just saw I think Miss Allen may in fact be the better choice."

"Oh please Harold!" She stated in a huff once again waving her hand around "what could possibly make her a better choice?"

The figure smiled showing gleaming white teeth "One word" he whispered causing both Lillian and the other figure to frown at him after he finished speaking.

"You cannot be serious? Something as frivolous as that to let something this important hang in the balance. You have to be out of your mind." After the outburst from Lillian the third figure finally spoke and in a grave tone stated simply "the girl will stay, that is my final say in the matter. From this point on she is too have no more direct contact with us."


	6. Chapter 6

sword slasher: I try it is a little hard to do. I'd rather the cookie though I like to swim :)

I own nothing but OCs

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Oh my head is killing me, what in the world happened last night. I remember crawling into the bed, pulling the covers over me and cursing the fact that I couldn't block out the light coming into my room from outside. Rolling over I bumped into something. I don't remember anything being next to me when I went to bed. Oh wait its probably just Zeus. Silly kitty he probably wants me to get up and feed him at some ungodly hour of the night. "Go away Zeus"

"Who's Zeus?" Shooting up and throwing the covers off I glanced around the room. Why are the walls white and where the hell is my dresser? Looking at my bed I see Baby 5 sitting there a little confused. "Holy shit it wasn't a dream. I must be losing my mind!" I started pacing back and forth across the room "I agreed to be an accountant for a damn violent bipolar pirate yesterday. What the hell was I thinking, Oh right I wasn't" at least the carpet under my feet felt good. Like fancy hotel good.

"Mel are you ok?" I stopped and turned to look at her my hands gripping my hair "Do I look ok? I just realized I'm in a world that isn't my own and I have no idea how I really got here." Count to ten, slowly just like mom taught you. Breath in, breath out. "Ok I'm a little calmer now. Lets start over, yesterday I showed up out of the blue right?" I had whipped around point my finger at her.

"Yes" I started pacing again counting the steps back and forth in my head "Ran away from Doflamingo only to be caught later and you were made for all intensive purposes my babysitter. Which is also slightly embarrassing since I'm older than you." As I was talking I kept my hands moving, something else my mother had taught me to do to distract myself. Works pretty well.

"Yes"

"Than after I got cleaned up and you and another lady let me borrow some clothes. I think her name was Jora?" Looking at Baby 5 she nodded and I kept going. "You took me to see Doflamingo again and he and I got talking. He said I could stay as a maid and I opened my big mouth and became a bookkeeper. Still sound right?"

"Mel I think you may need to sit down" I'm on a roll now getting it all out so I don't seem as crazy.

"Than that crazy dream last night, why couldn't that old lady have given me a little more to go on if this is really happening to me. And why the hell does my head hurt so much!" I screamed the last part. Someone just yelled 'shut up' from out in the hallway. I think it was one of the whores. Glad they have to be up if I do.

"Dream" I finally stopped and looked at her "Yea it was a weird one. But for some reason most of it is hazy like trying to see something through foggy glass." Might have to do with getting the crap scared out of me when I woke up this morning but for most of the bits I do remember I'm not so sure I should tell her about it. The whole trying to figure it out early and changing things is a little scary to think about. Looking towards the window and see the pre-dawn gloom I was pretty blunt when I asked "Baby 5, what time is it?"

"It's around six"

"Six. In the morning." Turning to face her with my eyes closed and lips drawn in a slim line "Why in the name of god are you in here at six in the morning? You look almost exactly the same as the last time I saw you. Did you even sleep last night?" I heard another yell about shutting up from across the hall. Whore number two is up. Maybe with the next scream I can wake up number three too.

"You said you wanted to go shopping for some of your own clothes this morning and I offered to take you remember" Is she serious. At the rate things are going this morning I see a heart attack in my future. "Yea I know but when I say morning I mean sometime after nine you know when places generally open. Plus even if anything was open right now I need coffee before any higher brain functions kick in." Coffee my one true love, oh how you have saved my hide through the years. By the time I would be at work I was usually on my fourth mug. I should mention the fact my mug has been called a soup bowl by most of my co-workers. I haven't had a morning since I was fifthteen that didn't start with a cup of the liquid gold.

"You seem to rant and rave well enough without it" I think that's the first bit of attitude I've seen from her "We're women Baby 5, ranting does not fall under the higher brain functions category" Sighing I flopped back down on the bed beside her "You still haven't said who Zeus is"

"My cat" I mumbled with my face in the pillow, deflated I rolled over onto my stomach "I hope the little brat is going to be okay" Stupid damn dream, I hope the old hag wasn't just my way of trying to deal with being here. "You're not going to go back to sleep are you?" I shook my head tossing my tangled mop of hair everywhere. "Than get up so we can get you ready" Seriously?

"Fine I just need to get cleaned up." Rolling over again I stood up and cracked the joints in my back.

"But you got cleaned up yesterday?" Guess hygiene standards aren't as high here as I thought they would be. "Yup, I try to do that every morning when I first wake up." It was then I noticed a pile of folded clothes sitting on top of the dresser. Guess I get to wear my own clothes today so no fear of the girls popping out. Grabbing said articles of fabric I walked into the bathroom and locked the door. Cold one this morning since who knows how much coffee Baby 5 will let me drink.

When I stepped back out into the room my bed was made and Baby 5 was sitting on the edge. "Alright let's go get some coffee then and get this shopping trip over with" She made me lead the way again and I did not have as much luck as the night before. I brought us to the pool after getting turned around I don't know how many times. About to turn around I felt a presence behind me, Baby 5 must be getting pretty frustrated with my oh so awesome navigation skills.

Wait a second she's in front of me "Fufufufufu up already little birdie?" Maybe if I hadn't woken up to Baby 5 sitting next to me on the bed and realizing this place was in fact real I wouldn't have jumped as high as I did. Or squeak. My poor poor heart, at this rate I won't make it past the end of the week. That or i'll end up with some kind of nervous disorder. "Yea." I finally spat out once I no longer felt like my chest was going to explode. On the upside at least I don't have a full bladder this time.

"Baby 5 woke me up so we could head out to get some clothes that actually fit me today. I can't keep wearing the same thing day in and day out" When I turned to look at him the corners of his mouth were turned down "Shopping with Baby 5?"

"Yea, that's not a problem is it?" Ah crap, did I go and do something really stupid again. How in the world am I suppose to know something so trivial could set him off. The good old preservation of life sense is beginning to flash again. "Don't let anyone con her into buy anything." Huh? What the hell just happened, that was not anywhere near the response I was expecting. As in brutally murdered was more along the lines of my thought process.

"I might need a little more info than that. You're being kind of vague." Then again maybe not asking for more details might have been the brightest thing to do. With those damn glasses I can't tell if he's actually looking at me or not.

"Call it a personality flaw, if someone says she can help improve their lives by buying some piece of crap there selling she does. Try to keep her Beri in her hands not someone elses." Note to self must ask Baby 5 if Beri is their form of currency. I am not asking Doflamingo that. "Alright I'll keep that in mind" pivoting on the heel of my foot I tried to walk away to grab baby 5. Instead I felt him grab my shoulder turning me around to face him again. I'm going to have a kink in my neck from all the looking up I have to do"You're going shopping? Do you even have any Beri?" Ah crap I should have thought of that. I must look real bright at the moment, feeling some sweat running down the side of my face.

"Fufufufufu, not very bright this morning are you little birdie?" Before I could snap at him about the lack of coffee I felt a wad of bills pressed into my hand. Where the hell did he pull that from? "Buy something to show off that ass of yours." Not in this lifetime you giant abomination. Finally getting away from him I grabbed Baby 5 and started to haul her inside again. Weird I'm used to this being the other way around.

This time I managed to find the kitchen without too much difficulty. I only got turned around twice this time! Sitting down at one of the small tables inside I finally had my cup of coffee how people manage to function without it I'll never know. The bagel I had grabbed was just an added bonus. "A bit of a stupid question but is Beri the currency here?" She had been eating a bowl of something that looked like shredded wheat to me, her mouth being full she nodded at the question.

I downed three mugs before we left I think I might have scared one of the kitchen staff. She said something about how only Lao G drinks that much of the black substance. Whoever he is he's alright in my books. Once I finished we left to head towards some port town Baby 5 called Acacia. Lets see if I can handle my first day in this crazy world and not get killed. Sounds like a real easy day.


	7. Chapter 7

sword slasher - Might be a while before that happens, Mel is more of a run and hide than fight girl.

YoundandCrazy - Thank you! I'll try haha.

I own nothing but the OCs

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As we walked around I found Baby 5 constantly reaching back to grab me, this place was amazing. It reminded me of the pictures and films I had seen of Spain and Italy with the cobblestone path and roadways. The huge colosseum might have influenced me a little as well in my comparisons, I mean how often do you see a huge stone colosseum! Outside of Italy anyway. There are so many different sights and smells to take in, compared to back home. I kept finding my attention turning towards the people as they walked around, most of the people seemed to be without a care in the world. The only ones that aren't seem to just be love struck.

Back to something more important than the people, no matter where you are they're the same. The architecture was stunning, I've always liked the look of buildings made from the huge slabs of stone. Just something about it. Even the weeds growing up in the patches of dirt near the homes seem more exciting in this atmosphere even if they were the same weeds any suburbs owner tried to get rid of with a passion .

When we reached a large square I found myself turning in a slow circle taking it all in I saw something that made me do a double take. The was a little boy, playing with a toy dog that was moving all on its own. Its kind of cute actually seeing a little boy having a friend like that. I froze looking over my shoulder again. Toys no matter where you're from arent suppose to move. Maybe it was just a trick or something, someone with wires making it look like the toy moving. Yea that has to be it. Moving forward again I realised something that made me stop again.

Ok there is a lot more than just one moving dog, I was about to bolt towards Baby 5 when I bumped into one of the toys. "My apologies young lady" It looks like a clown from a jack in the box with the box having wheels at the bottom. Oh lord there are all different kinds of toys that are moving around, dogs, ragdolls, tin men, was that a freaking metal elephant?

"Ah no problem" I paused my brain suddenly going into overdrive reanalyzing what just happened. The toy talked. Toy's aren't suppose to talk! Thankfully before I could panic and freak out Baby 5 was dragging me into a store. Crisis not averted "What the hell! It talked to me! Toys aren't suppose to talk, or move on there own what kind of place is this!" I had started pacing again hands in my hair, my breathing was turning ragged. Oh lordy now is not the time for a panic attack. When out of the blue I got slapped. Son a gun that freaking hurt!

"Calm down" point Baby 5, Mel zero. "Dressrosa is an island where living toys exist. Its known as the country of love, passion and toys." I can't believe she slapped me, damn it stings too. At least it the slap distracted me enough to stop my panic attack.

"Alright, I'm calm. I think, I just need a minute to digest what happened." Baby 5 had that look on her face like I said something stupid again. I think i'm just going to have to get used to that look. "Am I going to have to slap you again?"

"No, I've got the whole freak out thing down to a manageable level" not really but I need to say something. I don't feel like getting a second hand print to match the first on the other side of my face. "Can we talk about it later, you know where others won't look at me like i'm nuts?" There might not have been a lot of people in the store but all of them were staring. I feel like I should start taking off my clothes or something. "Once we're done we'll talk about it later."

Let's get this shopping thing over with before something else happens. Flicking through the racks I found a simple black tee with a Panda on the front, looking at the price tag I squinted. "Hey, where's the decimal on this shirt? There is no freaking way this thing is 10,000!" I was laughing while the clerk, Baby 5 and the other folks in the store we're looking at me like I had grown two heads. Just something I guess I have to get used to here.

"That's the price miss" Oh she has got to be kidding me this is just too much. "That's a good joke, seriously how much is it?" Alright maybe this is not a joke, the look on the clerks face says it all. I'm a crazy coot.

"She's not joking Mel, Doskoi Panda is a high end franchise. That's the normal cost of any of their clothes" The shirt was back on the rack before she could finish "Wheres the cheap stuff than? It's clothes, you buy it to wear not to wear and worry about running the stuff" I may not be strong, physically imposing, or even remotely intimidating. Somedays I question how smart I am, but when it comes to money there aren't a lot of people that can beat me. Knowing that, charging that much for a tee-shirt is highway robbery, no matter the value of the currency.

"There's nothing in this store under 5000 beri miss." Is she serious again? Who the hell pays that much for clothes of all things? I have trouble swallowing the fact I have to pay two hundred dollars for a winter coat. No way in hell I'm paying 10,000 Beri for a shirt. Even if I'm not sure what the normal cost of anything is here yet.

"Than lets go somewhere else, I refuse to pay that!" For the second time that day I dragged Baby 5 behind me. Kind of feels good to be the one doing the dragging. "Alright lets head to a market or something I need to figure some stuff out." I let baby 5 go and waved as if to say 'lead the way'.

If there has been anything I have learned from watching people it's what money is worth to them. You can be anywhere in the world or in my case another world, but when people are willing to pay for bread and lots of them are it tells a lot.

Baby 5 was whining as we entered another store where the clothes was far more in the price range of what I was comfortable with. "I would have bought the shirt for you if you wanted it Mel!" I really do not think she wants to come into this store. Might have to do with the way she feels about the clothes. Oh well works for me.

"That wasn't the point, I don't care whose money it is I refuse to pay that much for something like a tee shirt." She's got that look in eye again like I said something crazy, what is wrong with the people here.

"Most people I've met would have jumped at the chance to buy clothes worth that much with the young masters money." She herself was also looking through the racks of clothes, an occasional sneer of disdain on her face at some of the fabrics. Maybe she just wants to fit in.

"Are most of those people" I paused trying to think of something not too demeaning "his for lack of a better term lady friends?" Wow that was rather blunt of me. I almost sound like we're talking about the weather.

"How did you know?" there was quite the look of confusion on her face. Makes this whole day better.

"Call it a lucky hunch. How does this shirt look?" I held it up for her to see and she simply shook her head. "It's too dark for you, it would make you look like a ghost." Well at least she's honest with me, even if it is a cute shirt. Putting it back I kept looking, maybe I should have spent more time outside to get a tan in recent years. Pulling out another shirt of a similar cut but in a light blue she nodded her approval. One down a few more to go.

About two hours later I had a weeks worth of undergarments, two pairs of jeans, a pair of capris, and a pair of pants that reminded me of yoga pants. They were a little wider in the legs than I was used too but they would still do the trick as 'eat way more than I should' pants. A few tee shirts and a sweater, more than enough clothes for a while. The total for all of it came to 10,000, take that stupid panda! While I was sorting through the bills Doflamingo had given me to pay I swore at the amount. The bastard had given me about 150,000. There was no way I was going to spend that much. "How rich is that guy?" I muttered under my breath. Too bad Baby 5 heard me.

"The young master is a very well known pirate. He's amassed a great deal of wealth over the years." I simply looked at her, she might have been trying to be helpful but I found it annoying. "Not helping Baby 5. Not at all." Grabbing the bags off the counter I walked out beside her. With how bright it is here I can almost see why Doflamingo never seems to take the damn sunglasses he has off. Seriously how does he even see inside?

As we walked A slimy looking salesman appeared in front of baby 5 holding out a gun. "Ah miss, you look like a lady in need of a fine firearm. This rifle is said to never miss it's target and bring the greatest of luck to it's owner." He shoved it into her arms while I stood there eyebrow raised. He reminds me of a snake. "And for you young lady, only 500,000 beri!" This guy has to be out of his mind!

"Plus young lady it would help my family and I out a great deal" Ah crap baby 5 has that damn look in her eye that she keeps giving me every time I ask for her help with something. Before anything could happen I grabbed it and threw it back at the grinning jerk.

"Thanks for the offer pal but we have places to be." Reaching out I started to drag her away while she sighed "But he needs me Mel!" Are those tears running down her face? Lord i'm gonna need a lot of help if this is an everyday thing.

"No he doesn't, he just wants the cash in your pocket to line his own. Right now if someone needs you it's me. I'm not from here remember?" And the look is back. At least it's directed at me this time, how in the world did this women end up as a pirate? especially if she can be taken in by something as stupid as a dirty salesmen.

While I was muttering to myself I didn't pay attention to where we were going. Hearing a commotion I looked up seeing a crazed looking women coming towards me. She's screaming about a betrayal of love or something. Why the hell is she staring at me like i'm the one that did it. Oh I think i'm going to die again. I just finished clothes shopping to damnit, hope someone can return this stuff if I can't use it.


	8. Chapter 8

Luna - Wow that is one long review ... Thank you!

sword slasher - Yea it would certainly make breaking up hard.

Trich - Thank you! Is this soon enough for you haha?

AN: I own nothing but OCs.

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Luckily the crazy woman ran right past me and went after a guy who had been standing a few feet away. I had still dodged out of her way and was sitting on my ass panting. My flee instinct had activated and apparently the side of the road into a ditch was where it had wanted me to go. Baby 5 is stood off to my side laughing her ass off, what a great friend she is! Wish I had more like her. Once my heart slowed down to the point where I didn't feel like I had just run a marathon I stood up.

"You're a jerk" She just kept on laughing at me. I guess do look out of place stood in the ditch waving my arm up and down at her. Ah well could have been worse. "What was her problem anyway? I mean who runs around waving a knife at people and screaming?" Baby 5 wiped away a few tears from her eyes. It couldn't have been that funny could it?

"I already told you Dressrosa is known for being an island of passion. It has the highest rate of passionate crimes anywhere in the grand line. The women here are great lovers, but their passion can quickly turn if the man of their affection turns towards another." So in other words this is a normal thing here? Note to self stay single, I already worry enough about Doflamingo killing me, let alone a jealous chick. I feel myself shiver at the thought, stabbing is not a way I want to go.

After that incident Baby 5 and I kept walking around and heading into stores to get anything else I felt I needed at a reasonable cost. I had found the shampoo and soap that was in my bathroom a little too strong smelling. I was feeling the onset of a headache from it, so I wanted to get something that didn't reek of powdered soap. If I could find something coconut scented even better. It's the best smell in the world. Too bad I didn't enjoy eating it, love the taste hate the consistency. Like chewing little strings. Gross. Back on topic.

I did find some coconut scented soap and shampoo that wasn't strong enough to smell a mile while. Baby 5 found my methods rather funny, open bottle, smell, rear head back in shock if it was bad. If it was really bad apparently I made a face to match. She said the ones that I found tolerable weren't as fun to watch. Glad I'm her own personal comedian, at least it's helping to keep that slimy salesmen away from us. He just doesn't seem to take the hint that I'm not letting Baby 5 buy that stupid rifle. I sent another glare his way, back behind the corner he goes and I just roll my eyes.

Let's see in my mental checklist what else do I feel I need. Another pair of shoes, wearing calf high boots all the time is not practical. A few more personal hygiene products, A pair of sunglasses since mine are more than likely sitting on the dashboard of my car. With the whole in a new world thing I don't think my bag made it over with me. So I need a new one of those and need to replace some of the things that were inside it. Like a wallet, a watch since I don't think they have cell phones here, a few sticks of lip chap or something similar. A few since I tend to leave them everywhere and or lose them, I used to joke how I should have stock in a company considering how many I buy.

I just hope I can get all of that stuff before the day is out. I'm not sure I want to come back tomorrow, I'm still flinching every time one of the toys talks. So unnatural. Oh shit there's one that looks like a possessed doll. Stay calm, stay calm, deep breaths, think of anything but how it kind of looks like a female version of the chucky doll from the movies. Oh why did I think that? Now I'm going to worry about a doll coming to kill me in my sleep.

I started walking a little faster which caught baby 5 by surprise, I think she's getting used to the idea that I'm freaked out by the toys. The more the day dragged on the more I found myself enjoying her company. It's nice to talk to someone in a strange new world who isn't judging me all the time for being different.

I found out in a few places that with my accent and mannerism that the people we're treating me differently. Not that it bothered me a lot, but I've always been self conscious about that stuff. Over all I don't think I'm too vain, I do know I don't spend hours in from of a mirror every morning putting on a face. I get up shower, grab the first thing in my closet and go. I might blow my dry my hair once in a while, but I really couldn't care how it looks. I might ask if I look bad in something but mostly so I don't keep thinking someone is looking at me because of it. Like wearing all black in high school. For my first year everyone thought I was goth and looked like a ghost dragged through a washing machine, plus sometimes the clothes you wear does affect your ability to get a job.

The only reason I had my last one was because I wore a suit to the interview. The other two applicants had nearly ten years of experience on me. They wore jeans and a tee shirts to the interviews. First impressions matter. I know one thing for sure, if Baby 5 wasn't with me right now I would have had a panic attack. Sighing I walked into another store behind her. This one seems to have accesories, maybe I'll get a pair of shades like Doflamingos. Bet he'd be tickled pink after that. I laughed my ass off and got another look from Baby 5 that says I'm crazy. If she was in my head she'd understand.

Finally done with all the shopping and now having a watch it was around three. I had everything I felt I need from personal hygiene products to shoes. Heading back to the castle since I could finally see it from a distance, I feel damn tiny. No wonder I was getting lost, the first stop was my room when we got back to drop everything off. I'm pretty happy with the fact I only spent 52,000 of the amount I had been given and I didn't let anyone con Baby 5 into buying anything stupid. Take that you stupid freaking Panda!

While in the room Baby 5 explained to me how the maids would come to get the clothes cleaned and return them to the room. There's a small clothing basket in the washroom you just leave the stuff in. It shows up the next morning clean on top of the dresser. Sounds like my kind of place, take that cleaning. I've once again escaped your vile clutches.

Throwing all the clothes into the basket I took the time then to go and put everything else I had purchased away. When you're used to things being in a certain place in the mornings before coffee it makes things a lot easier. Baby 5 also took the time to explain to me how each wing has a few servants and maids to do any errands they may need to be done. Nice to know however I think I'll be doing my own. I might hate cleaning, but I should look after the other stuff myself.

Our next stop was the kitchen since we were both hungry, the only thing was both of us hadn't realised how hungry we were until we had my stuff thrown on my bed before sorting it. Damn I know it must be close to supper time. Everything smells so good, I got a bowl of soup with a bun. I might be starving but with the smells around me I'm waiting to eat.

After eating I decided to go looking for Doflamingo, Baby 5 stayed by my side still the ever present babysitter. That is still funny, I don't think its going to wear off over time. I had even told her I didn't need the escort around the castle but she got defensive stating again how the young master had told her to look after me. Note to self ask him when I can get that restriction on my personal freedoms lifted. I might enjoy her company but it's a little unnerving knowing she's just outside my bathroom door when I'm in there. All the time. Wait a second, she was there this morning when I got up, she didn't spend the whole night at the end of my bed did she? Ah so creepy. When we walked by our rooms she went into her own for a moment to grab something, I took the chance to book it and find Doflamingo.

Once again he was sitting beside the pool except this time he was by himself with a weird looking snail in front of him. The pink monstrosity that was his coat was thrown across one of the other lawn chairs pulled up to the table. The snail is kind of cute, it doesn't look anything like the ones I'm used to seeing back home. Plus this one is way larger, more like the size of a soccer ball than a snail. Taking a second look at the snail, I notice it kind of looks like Doflamingo, or at least as much as a snail can you know, look like a person.

Walking towards him I also noticed the lack of his whores. Good I really don't feel like dealing with their staring at the moment. He didn't flinch when I dropped down into the chair next to his, the facial expression didn't change either. At least not any that I could see since most of his face was hidden behind those glasses of his. "Back already little birdie? I figured you'd be back a lot later fufufufufu."

I rolled my eyes and placed the leftover bills back on the table, and pushed them towards him. "Yea not a big fan of shopping and after seeing a few things around the town I didn't really want to stay out too late. Plus I got everything I needed." He turned his head to look at me and for the first time in the 48 hours with a frown on his face. "What is this little Birdie?"

"You're never going to call me by my name are you?" I lifted my feet up and set them down on the table edge one crossed over the other.

"Answer me little Birdie." He still had the frown on his face and my preservation of life sense began to flash again. Not going to let it go crazy this time. I licked my lips and answered simply "What's left over from the Beri you gave me this morning. I didn't spend it all so the right thing to do is to give the remainder back to you. Oh and I didn't let a slimy looking guy con baby 5 into buying a rifle. I figured she didn't need one since there was already one strapped to her back."

I kept looking at him and the preservation of life alarm was starting to go crazy in my head. Maybe I should put my feet down, easier to get a head start on the running away. Not that it really helped me too much last time. I swallowed getting ready to take off.

When he burst out laughing. This guy sets off all of my internal alarms without even trying, most of the time it seems to be false too. Not that I'm complaining too much, but I don't want them to get lulled into a false sense of complacency with him. "Little birdie, you are something else. I don't think anyone has ever been able to convince Baby 5 to not to buy something. Most of the crew wouldn't even bother with trying, but you followed my directions it seems."

"Actually I got her out of it by telling her I needed her more." I scrunched up my face while I looked at him. "Did you buy anything to show off your ass like I told you?"

"Nope. I even made sure to buy a pair of really baggy pants. Also I think I should mention this, you have one crazy" I paused waiting for the right word "Kingdom here. Living toys are something I have a pretty hard time wrapping my head around" I dropped my feet back off the table and stood getting ready to leave. "Now I'm going to go find my baby sitter and go to supper."

"Wait little birdie, you didn't fully follow my direction then. Naughty little birdie." Crap this is not going to go well. "Two more questions before you run off. Why did you give me back the beri that was left over? Most women I give beri to never return it, usually because they spend it all and come looking for more. Explain."

"Really? I figured my answer of right thing to do would have answered it. Being a money person I don't believe in wasting money on stupid things. So I bought stuff that covers my needs and is going to last a while. Oh and I like the smell of coconut so I got a little frivolous there." I was slowly trying to back away the first question might have been easy to answer, but the second one he had yet to ask had me a little on edge.

"Fufufufu my little birdie likes coconut?"

"The smell and taste yes, not the consistency." He had that trademark smirk of his back on his face again. "Now what did you mean by babysitter?" Well this works out great means I can ask about the Baby 5 thing right away.

"Baby 5 sticks to my side like glue. I actually did want to talk to you about that, but you know." Should I tell him? Why not." You scare me, so I was going to run away and hide. Ever since you told her to keep an eye on me she's hard to ditch or convince to leave me alone for more than a few minutes. The only reason I'm here without her now is because I ran from her. Could you maybe not have her around me 24/7?"

"Fufufufu. You like to run away do you little birdie. For now Baby 5 stays, I might have to punish her for failing me since you managed to get away so easily." Wait what. If anything shouldn't I be the one to get in trouble for leaving her not the other way around.

"Why? She didn't do anything wrong it was me that took off. How was she supposes to know I'd do that? If anyone should be punished and I can't believe I'm about to say this, it should be me." Now once I finished it dawned on me that might not have been the best thing to say. The biggest give away was the fact his damn grin got bigger. Not sure how his facial muscles can pull that off, but they can.

"Fufufufufufu how about that. Just the answer I was looking for." Once again today all the alarms in my head are going off. Damn filter and common sense should have kicked in, Damn you preservation of life. I am not going to like what he's going to say.

"Pupupupupupu"

"What the hell!" I jumped and fell backwards the snail just woke up and started making a weird sound. "Ow" Figured when I jumped I had to hit something and trip falling on my butt. I'm just staring at the snail while it keeps on making the same pup sound over and over again, what the hell is wrong with this place! Talking toys, murderous Women, snails that make noises they shouldn't! Even if it does sound like someone trying to say 'Pick up, pick up" really fast. I want to go back home dammit!


	9. Chapter 9

Sword slasher – It's coming don't worry.

Luna – Thanks again for the crazy long review and pointing out some of my errors :).

oOKamiOo – Well I used Doskoi panda since there is a known value to it. I may down the road if I can find a way to work it in that follows with the story. Thank you!

Yonakaneko – Thank you! I feel the love, personally I think poor Mel in a little on the unlucky side ;P

BloodieReader - I'm glad, I hope you keep enjoying it.

YoungandCrazy – Well I'm trying haha. I think it's a little on the slow side however that just means more chapters! I don't want to rush things as Mel is learning about the world. Plus I don't think any sane person who has never seen OP could be calm in Mels situation. It's ok and thanks for the review!

. – Maybe … Thank you!

Thanks to all those that are following and have fav'ed this story!

As always I own nothing but OCs.

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He just laughed and kept watching me, smirking as he reached out and lifted up a round device from the top of the snail. Still on the ground I noticed it was connected to the snail with a cable that reminded me of a telephone cord. As in the one that connects the receiver to the rest of the machine. With one finger he pointed to the chair I had first been sat in. Doesn't take a genius to figure out what it meant.

I almost fell out of the chair before I was even in it when he talked into the thing and the snail answered back. What the hell! I gulped feeling myself starting to panic again, the longer I'm here the more crazy stuff seems. As I watched the weird exchange I noticed the snail also showed facial expressions. Maybe it's like a walkie talkie or something similar, yea that sounds normal compare it to that. Except walkie talkies don't freaking have facial expressions! Once Doflamingo finished and placed the receiver back down the snail made a click sound and looked like it went to sleep. "What the hell is that thing?" I asked pointing at it like it would come to life and attack me. What is with this word and things that aren't supposed to talk talking!

"It's a den den mushi" a what? Sounds like something I'd be served in a Thai restaurant. I'm really starting to hate that smirk of his. "A communicator. The larger they are the further the signal travels. This one is an adult so it can reach across to ones on other islands." He reached down into his pocket and pulled out a much smaller one. Placing it on the table when compared to the other one it looked tiny. It would have fit in the palm of my hand. "This one is a baby den den mushi. It has a much smaller range, it can reach another on the opposite side of this island."

"It like a phone than?" I poked the larger creature in the stomach and it opened an eye and looked a little annoyed at me. At least it's not slimy "kind of cute." I wonder if they name them if they use them for communication?

"What's a phone?" He questioned reaching out to once again grab the smaller snail. Poor snail he keeps it in his pocket! "Never mind. Something from where I'm from."

"Fufufufu, now little birdie you don't get to say something like that and tell me to forget about it. You must think so little of me if that's the case. A bad decision on your part." To say I'm sweating bullets is a bit of an understatement. I think there's a puddle beginning to form under my chair. "Just this once I'll forgive you but I expect you to answer my question the next time I ask" I swallowed hard as he licked his lips. Damn that is one long tongue "back to our previous subject." Oh shit I was hoping he would have been distracted by whatever it was the person on the other end of the snail thing had said. "What sort of punishment should I give you?"

"A stern warning about what's going to happen next time?" was my hopeful response. The alarm bells were going off in my head no answer could have saved me so this will just have to do. Maybe if I hadn't been so quick to answer his first question with a 'never mind' I wouldn't be in this situation. As long as it doesn't involve something drawn out and painful I'll be grateful. "Fufufufufu don't worry little birdie it won't be too bad the first time."

What the hell does he mean the first time? Oh this could be a hell of a lot worse than I previously thought.

Well it wasn't anywhere near as bad as what I thought Doflamingo would do to me. I ended up at supper, thrown over his shoulder like I was a sack of potatoes. Oh and it gets better, every few feet on the way I found my ass slapped by his giant hands while he laughed. I'm assuming he was licking his lips too, seeing as I was facing back towards the way we had come. The thought briefly crossed my mind to struggle. Extremely briefly as in a portion of a second. The image of me being gutted like a fish took its place instead. I also didn't get to eat at supper since he sat with me still on his shoulder. Thankfully he showed up near the end so I didn't sit there for a full hour in that embarrassing position.

As soon as he let me down I grabbed Baby 5 and dragged her out of the room, I don't need a mirror to know my face is comparable to a tomato. At least she isn't laughing at me. If she had of I would have told her to stick it where the sun doesn't shine. Even more so since Doflamingo conned me into it by saying he was going to punish her. I will say all the members of his odd ball crew didn't seem to think too much of my predicament. That or they're all a lot smarter then I'm currently giving them credit for.

"I can't believe you ran away from me and you told the young master." So much for her not laughing at me. Yea by not laughing I mean she's bent over holding her side. Pretty sure I just heard a snort out of her.

"Yea. I'm really pretty aren't I, now go shove it up your ass." I muttered and started pacing around the room. "What does that mean?"

"It means I'm stupid and I only get anywhere in life thanks to the fact I have a pretty face in some peoples opinions. Not mine I might add, but I think you get the idea." I paused thinking "If you mean shoving it up your ass I think that's pretty self explanatory." That sent her into more fits of laughter. "Ok when you decide to get serious we'll get back to the whole damn toy thing from this morning. I still don't understand how toys can be alive." I ran my fingers through my hair again. I'm still pretty red in the face from Doflamingo's stunt, at least he hadn't tried to cause any bodily harm or anything else for that matter. One thing's for certain I won't be trying to leave Baby 5 anymore.

"Done yet?" Her laughter was beginning to subside which I was thankful for, this joke is going to be around for a long time. "Yea, yea. What did you want to know?"

"The toy thing! How the hell can living breathing toys exist?" I need a chair in this room or something. You'd think for a room this large there would be at least a chair. Still laughing lightly she looked at me at still giggling and began to explain how, ten years ago when Doflamingo had freed the island from the tyranny of the Riku family. One of the things they had found while helping restore the island was a factory that was filled with living toys. According to her story Doflamingo had told them they were free aside from two rules.

They had to be back in the factory at midnight sharp and they were not allowed into the homes of the people on the island. "Wow I didn't think he had a heart like that, I figured he would have come in and killed everyone on the island if anything. Guess you really can't judge a book by its cover." hearing something like that about Doflamingo was not something I had expected, at the back of my mind a little voice was saying that wasn't the whole story. Not by a long shot, I'll peg that for future inquiries.

"The young master is a good man even if he is a pirate." For some reason I don't fully believe that statement after hearing about his last few accountants and who knows how many others he's killed over the years. If my preservation of life sense had its own conscious I think it would have snorted.

"How long has he been a pirate for anyway?" I stopped pacing and started really looking at the room. I do not like the layout, bed in the center of the room with the headboard against the wall. The big dresser was set directly across from the bed, the rest of the room was a waste of space. They could use a new decorator.

"I think he started when he was sixteen so more than twenty years."

"Some people at sixteen decide to be bankers, Lawyers, teachers, apparently here being a pirate is a profession people really think about from an early age." I started to push on the dresser trying to move it to another corner of the room. "I wanted to be a pirate since I was seven." I looked at her eyebrow raised. "No kidding." Didn't see that one coming.

"What are you doing anyway Mel?"

"What does it look like, moving furniture or is that not allowed?" Damn this is some nice furniture, heavy and hard to move the damn thing.

"Here let me help you" together the two of us had it moved to the far wall near the windows and set on an angle. "So know where can I go and get a chair and a desk of some kind?"

An hour later I had a nice desk with lots of drawers and a cushy chair to sit on with it set up to look out through the window facing some of the palm trees. The best part was when we got the stuff from. Whore number one and who number fours room. I didn't realise Doflamingo had so many women to spread their legs for him. Nice furniture though. Hope Doflamingo doesn't mind I removed it I highly doubt they use it. I don't want to think about what they were doing with it if they did.

Inside the desk I found a few stacks of blank paper, some funky dip pens since I have no other word for them. Each one has a feather on the end, and the other is a rather fine tipped end. I guess this place doesn't have pens. I foresee a lot of ink stained fingers in my future speaking of ink, the desk also had a lot of different colored inks which was neat. All in all a great find. My favorite thing about the desk is a nice little shelf on the top I could put books on.

Since Doflamingo hasn't given me any indication that I'll be working on the accounts any time soon I'll need some books to read. "Hey Baby 5, can we go to the library here? I want to get a few books to read."

"Better than sitting around here watching you gload over my hard work." She crossed her arms over her chest like was pissed. Since I have one friend here I'd rather not lose her the second day.

"Hey now, I greatly appreciate the fact you moved it for me. And came up with the idea of seeing what was in the whores room. Which was a freaking fantastic idea by the way!" While we had been moving the furniture I realised she hated the whores and called them that openly. Apparently today I had gained a great deal of points with her for not spending all of his money and even though I ditched her when I got back, went to return the rest of as she put it 'the young masters' Beri.

When we got there the place was just empty which I was thankful for, Baby 5 sat down in one of the chairs while I walked around looking for books that might help me fill in some of the blanks in this crazy world. Maybe a few books on world history will help, I can't keep thinking Baby 5 will be around when I need questions answered. If anything the books might help trigger questions I can ask while she's still around.

Meandering around the place I was starting to think there were not a lot of books about world history here. I had found two so far and had my nose in a third while I walked down the aisles getting ready to place this one with the others on a table.

I screamed when I felt someone grab me from behind.


	10. Birthday Special

Since it's Doflamingo's birthday here's a birthday special! It's not at the point of the main story line yet but that shouldn't affect it too much. Enjoy!

I own nothing but OCs.

* * *

I have to say it's not often I get to wake up and not be at the crack of dawn, Baby 5 must've taken pity on me. Rolling over I see the sun is about a quarter of the way up, checking my watch the time shows 9:15. Oh that was a nice sleep in, I should get up and get ready for the day before the pink boss comes looking for me.

He doesn't seem to worry all that much or expect me in the study 24 seven, but I'd feel bad if I stayed in bed all day. Sitting up I stretch and pop the joints in my back, for some reason theres a voice at the back of my head saying something strange is going on today. At least when you consider how normal a day around here is anyway.

Coming out of the bathroom the feeling still hasn't gone away, I get the feeling I should be running to the study. My preservation of life sense is really starting to go nuts and I actually do run to Doflamingos' study.

Whipping around a corner I tried to stop myself before I plowed into Baby 5, like someone trying to slide into home base and getting clotheslined by the umpire. Overall not a pretty sight, however I'm glad it's Baby 5 and not someone else. Otherwise it would have just been me on the floor.

"I think I broke something"

"Don't be a baby Mel, I was just coming to see if you were finally up." How is she already on her feet? Holding out my hand she helps pull me up from the floor. "Thanks, I was starting to worry something was going on. Why'd you let me sleep in any way? Not that I'm complaining, you can let me sleep in any day of the week."

"Something is going on, it's the young masters birthday. Today is usually a day for everyone to relax and enjoy." Oh well I have no problem with relaxing, Birthday. What the hell Birthday! "Did anyone bother to think to tell me about that before today? For some reason I feel like today is a day that saying the wrong won't result in just a laugh or a funny look. I'm foreseeing being strung up by feet and used as a pinata!"

Baby 5 is just laughing at me, she might be getting used to my rants of 'I'm going to do die,' but I'm serious this time. I do not see my day ending well. "Oh Mel I don't think the young master would do that to you. I think he has a thing for you anyway." I just roll my eyes at her, I think I'm going to die and she makes a joke about feelings that don't exist. Nice.

"I'm serious and you make a joke thanks Baby 5 I feel the love here. Is there anything I should know about today? Like will he kill me if I tell him he's old and wears tacky clothing?" I would never say that to him since I would end up in the morgue regardless of the day. I'm not that stupid. "I mean what do you people even do in this world for someone birthday? In mine there's usually a cake, everyone hangs out and has a few drinks. Depending on the person's age or how well you know them you get them a gift. So what happens here?"

We had both started walking with Baby 5 taking the lead a bit "We drink. A lot." Why do I feel like today or tonight is going to be a reminder of my first year in college. "I don't think the young master has ever had a cake or anything like that for his birthday. He isn't a fan of sweets, there's usually cake at suppertime anyway."

Since suppertime is my favorite meal here I do have to agree, there is always cake or pies of some kind, and I don't think I've ever seen Doflamingo eat any of them. I may have an idea for something. Growing up with as big a family as I had even my brother who hated sweets of all kind would have a little cupcake that mom used to make for his birthday. Maybe I'll make one for him if the chef in the kitchen doesn't mind.

It just seems so weird to me not to have something on your birthday like that, it's like a sandwich with just the bread. It doesn't make any sense. Looking up from my us walking I notice we're on the way to the pool not the study. "Why aren't we heading to the study?"

"The young master isn't in his study he's at the pool." Well that explains why, guess I'll just shut up. Shoving my hands into my pocket I snort. At the pool Doflamingo is sitting on his couch surrounded by his whores again. I'll try to make my eye rolling not as noticeable as usual since it is his birthday I won't mind the display of them hanging all over him. Or the lack of clothes they wear while there hanging over him. Gross but I guess if it floats his boat I should ignore it.

I want to go sit down in a chair next to Jora and Lao G to join in on the poker game, but Baby 5 is giving me a look that says 'go say Happy Birthday'. On my way I go, trying to not make too much eye contact with the whores. "Fufufufufufu finally up my little birdie?" Well there goes no eye contact with the whores since all three of them turned to me as soon as Doflamingo finished. Oh if looks could kill I would have died on my first day here.

"I am, and Happy birthday boss. I hope you have a great fun day now I'm going to go play poker." Well that was easier than I thought, I figured he would make a grab for me and sit me on his lap again. I hate it when he does that. Instead, all he did do was laugh and go back to his whores paying attention to him. Works for me. Now it's time to gamble, and Lao G looks a little mad already. Just makes it easier to win. After lunch I'll ask the chef if I can make use of his kitchen for a little while.

* * *

Walking into the kitchen I headed towards the head cook, I hope he agrees with what I'm going to ask him. "Umm can I ask a favor sir?" The older man looked at me with a small smile "What can I do for you Mel?"

I was not expecting him to know my name, taken aback I stuttered out my request. He laughed at me and made a space for me in the kitchen to use and pointed out to me where I could get the stuff I wanted from. Getting to work I started on my little surprise for Doflamingo, laughing in my own head I realise the irony of making him something with stuff in his own kitchen. At least this old man knows some stuff about Doflamingo, I wouldn't have pegged him as a vanilla man. I know I'm not completely out to lunch with this little plan of mine.

Thinking on this plan I am glad I spent so much time hanging out in moms' kitchen as a kid and a teenager. Being from a small coastal town it's not like I had anywhere else to go hang out so I might as well have learned how to bake. Nowhere near as well as mom could, but it helps when it comes to stuff like this, then again how hard is making enough batter for a few cupcakes. I might only want one for the boss, but no need to waste two thirds of an egg. Plus I love cupcakes!

The whole time I was in there the old chef was telling me how long he had been working in the kitchens for, even before Doflamingo took over. A look passed over his face when he talked about when Doflamingo first took over as king seven years ago. It reinforced my feelings that Baby 5 is sugarcoating the information she tells me. He also took the time to tell me how many people he had seen come and go that were in Doflamingos' employment, aka all my predecessors. He's also had a lot of whores over the years.

Apparently on average he keeps them for a year maybe two and then they get the boot out the door and he gets some the same age as when the first ones started. Guess he likes them young, no wonder they all glare at me. They must think I'm going to replace them or something. Now that is a laugh! And, I almost end up on the floor holding my stomach from laughing. I wouldn't want to be his toy to throw away for anything in this world. Not even if it was a chance to go home. I think back to that dream from before and that old hag. I hope that choice being offered is the chance for me to get home.

A buzzer breaks me out of my thoughts as I open the oven and check on the status of my cupcakes. Looks like they need a few more minutes still. Closing the oven door I reset the timer for another ten minutes, and go back to making the butter cream icing. I wonder what he'll think if I tint it pink since it appears to be his favorite colour.

When I was finished I had five cupcakes that I left with the old man and one with a nice topping of pink butter cream and a single candle on top. I placed the cupcake in a little box, now I just need to go find the pink boss to give him his pink cupcake.

Back at the pool I notice he's not on the couch which I'm thankful for I can picture the sneer on the whores faces, I doubt they can look outside their own little worlds to do something for someone else. Plus I don't have to deal with the embarrassment of him laughing at me. The longer this is going on the more I feel like this is a bad idea. Jora took pity on how lost I was looking and told me he had headed back to his office since he was expecting a call. Lao G is just glaring at me now. What can I say I only took all his money when we played poker this morning.

Thanking Jora and nodding to Lao with a smile I headed back inside towards the study. I bet that just pissed him off. I'm sure he'll forgive me at some point, he usually does. Making my way to the study I can hear him talking on his Den Den Mushi. It is weird calling a snail that and thinking of it as a phone, waiting until I hear a click signalling he's finished with the call I stand outside the door. This must look pretty odd if anyone walks by. Me standing at the door holding a little white box and Doflamingo's voice carrying out through the door. I feel sweat running down the side of my head. This is awkward.

Hearing a click I knock on the door, okay now that is weird since I started working in there I never knock on the door. I hear him call out and poke my head in the door "Hey, have you got a minute boss?"

"Fufufufu what is it little birdie? You know you don't have to knock to come see me." If it wasn't for the fact I know he can kill me without much effort I might have told him to shove it where the sun doesn't shine. "I do. I ugh just wanted to give you something." Ah great I sound like a freaking teenage trying to talk to their crush. Whoa wait a second I do not have a crush on the pink idiot!

"Here." Well here goes, the box is on his desk and he's looking at it like it's going to explode. "Where I'm from on their birthday a person always gets a cake for their birthday. I know you're not a big fan of sweet so I made you a cupcake." Pausing at the look on his face I feel like I might have surprised him for once. Wahoo point for me. "So ugh here you go. Enjoy!" I dart out of the room before I can embarrass myself even further. Time to go find Baby 5 before supper tonight to get a few more details. Like when the drinking starts because I am going to need a few to knock memory this out of my head.

Back in the study Doflamingo opens the small little box and laughs. No one had ever done anything like this for him before. As he looked at the small cupcake his thoughts wandered to his odd little bookkeeper and her way of doing things.

Finding Baby 5 I asked her about the drinking and she said it starts around suppertime and today is one of the few days in the year where the young master doesn't have a sit down dinner. Everything is just going to be hor dourves and the like around the pool. As the time gets closer I wonder if I should go get my sweater since some nights it gets a little chilly.

However, before I can get in my room Baby 5 is grabbing me saying how we can't be late. Oh joy, well with the amount of drinking I plan on doing I'm sure I won't remember anything. Knowing that who cares if I get a little chilly or not.

At the pool I notice the bar that has been set up, I am not wasting any time. I recognize one of the sous chefs as the bartender time to get a drink. "Have any whiskey?" He nodded "Make it a triple on the rocks then." At the frown on his face I rolled my eyes "Put some ice in and fill it to the top. Actually make two, one with ice and one without". The second he placed both in front of me I downed the one with no ice. No reason to wait to get drunk. I think I may have gotten a few stares at the fact I just drank a straight glass of whiskey. So they can all chug down mugs of beer in one go, but I do the same with a small glass of whiskey and I'm the odd one. Go figure.

Flopping down into a chair next to Baby 5 I get ready for a night of just sitting and watching everyone else while I get plastered. I freeze for a second when a thought hits me "How old is the boss turning anyway?" You would think I would have thought to ask that question a while ago, or done the math since I think we've talked about it before.

"37" Alright for some reason I was expecting Baby 5 to say something like 45, not sure why I just wouldn't have pictured him as 37. He acts to much like a dirty old man to be 45. Whoa hang on, that means Doflamingo has been a pirate since he was a teenager. That is a long time to worry about being killed by someone.

Finishing my second drink I get up, time for another one. "You want anything?" Baby 5 just shakes her head, I'm starting to think Baby 5 doesn't drink since I've yet to see her with any. While I'm getting a refill Doflamingo finally makes an appearance. Oh joy, looks like I'll be walking around the couch to avoid him.

Heading back a small crowd is behind said couch, looks like it's around the front I go. Why do I get a bad feeling about this? Feeling a pair of large hands wrap around my waist I know why. What is with this guy and having me in his lap? "Why did you run away earlier little birdie? Not embarrassed are you?" Well for once he isn't making it worse by talking normally in that loud voice of his, I guess I can handle being in his lap if he's going to say it low enough that only I can hear.

"Maybe" Oh that was not a good answer, he's chuckling behind me and I can feel my face heat up. What did I do to deserve this? Good bye drunken happiness, hello fear driven soberness.

It just keeps getting better when I notice him wave the whores that were coming towards him away. I am so happy for the lock on my bedroom door. They might be whores but that doesn't mean one of them isn't capable of putting a knife between my ribs while I'm in lala land. Feeling the lightbulb go off above my head I winced. What's to stop one of them from trying it during the day? I am not leaving Baby 5s side ever again.

I winch again, but this time it was because of a set of boney fingers digging into my hip. Perverted bastard. I think he enjoyed feeling the wince since my butt moved. Dammit I want to be enjoying a drunken stupor not be Doflamingo's personal form of entertainment for the night! Taking another sip of my drink I realise I'm stuck here for the night so I might as well just accept it.

Oddly enough relaxing seemed to loosen Doflamingo's fingers, maybe this won't be so bad. After the glare I just caught from whore number one I take it back. This sucks the big one. Well I guess I'll just do one of the few things I enjoy no matter where I am. Looking up I just stare at the sky, watching the stars.

They seem really pretty tonight, damn maybe I will enjoy a drunken stupor tonight.

* * *

Finally at the end of the night the last few drunken straggles left to head back to their own rooms. Wish I was doing the same thing with them. The drunk part anyway. I had been hoping that with everyone else gone Doflamingo would have let me out of his lap so I could go to bed. I can feel myself getting a little chilly as the night air wraps around me, I should have brought my sweater with me. "Eep" Oh that was dignified, why did he have to reach out and pull me back against his chest.

Noticing he moved so part of his damn coat was wrapped around me. I feel my cheeks heating up, I forgot that since I'm in his lap shivering may have alerted him to the fact I was cold. So much for getting out of here, might as well enjoy the warmth.

Looking up at the sky again I let out a quiet sigh. "What are you thinking about my little birdie?" Hmm options, I could ignore him and find myself in an embarrassing position again or just answer and hope for the best. The hope for the best option doesn't have the alarm bells going off as badly. "The night sky, I've been out here a few times at night and it's a little depressing."

"Why is that, do you not like the night sky cute birdie?" Damnit why the hell does he have to be so warm! "No I loved going out at night and staring at the night sky as a kid and a teenage. One of my brothers used to tell me all the stories about the constellations. Usually they were ones he made up himself, but I liked them." I feel his hand running through my hair, rather relaxing. What does he have up his sleeve I wonder? "What I find depressing is I don't recognise any of the constellations here, not a one. It really drives home the fact I'm not in my own world. If I was there would be some familiarity."

I felt his chest moving as he laughed, for some reason this laugh doesn't make me worry for my life like the other one. It's almost like a soft chuckle compared to his usual 'fufufufufu', I think the warmth from the coat is making me drowsy. Or maybe the whiskey is finally kicking in again. "Then make up your own stories and tell me about them Birdie?"

"Seriously" I deadpan turning to look at him, I don't have that kind of creativity. "I'm not good at that kind of thing." He shifted and I found myself somehow further into his coat "Then tell me a story you already know."

What kind of story do I tell him that he may not kill me for? A lightbulb goes off in my head, I've got an idea. I'll tell him one of my favorites. Feeling the grin beginning to pull on my face I look up at the sky again. I see a few stars clustered together, it'll have to do. "Do you see that group of stars there?" I pointed towards him and he nodded "When I look at them I see a mermaid with a tragic tale."

"How does that look like a mermaid?" he laughs before I can finish. "Well she's not just a mermaid, she's actually on an rock out at sea. See the star on the right is the top of the rock and her hands are resting on it, there's her head and her tail a little above it. That little line of stars at the bottom is where the rock disappears into the waves." He just laughed again and told me to go on.

"You see she was from the sea and during a stormy night she disobeyed her father and sisters to save a young prince she had fallen in love with. After saving him she fell into despair knowing she could never be with him because she was a mermaid and he was a man." I know I know, cheesy, but hey it's a story.

"When her father tried to discipline her for going to the surface she ran away and came across a sea witch. This sea witch offered to turn her into a human, but it would cost her, her voice thinking she could win her princes's heart without a voice. Upon getting to the land the prince found her and took her to his castle"

"And they lived happily ever after right?" Why in the world would he tell me to tell a story and keep interrupting me? "Actually no. Let me finish the ending may surprise you. No matter how hard she tried the mermaid could not get the prince to love her, he saw her as a poor child with no voice to look after." Doflamingo can't seem to keep his damn hands to himself.

"When a ship from a faraway land came the prince fell in love with the other lands princess and they were wed. Distraught the young mermaid ran to the shore and cried, and cried long into the night. When the morning came the mermaids sisters came to see her and said 'the sea witch has created a spell to turn you back into a mermaid and return your voice, but there is another cost."

Taking a breath while staring at the stars I feel a beating behind me "Giving her a special knife made of coral they continued 'you must kill your prince, since you gave your voice to follow your heart you must take his to return yours. After stab the knife into your own heart and you will become a mermaid again.' Sneaking into the room the new couple shared on the ship that would take the two to the princess's kingdom the young mermaid stood staring at him, knowing she could never take his life. Running back outside she threw the knife into the water and began to cry again, the sea witch again appearing to her. Telling her since she could not do it she would instead return her to being a mermaid, but her voice was lost forever and she could not return to her home." Want to know what's funny? This is my favorite story that I used to make Russ tell me all the time, but I can't remember what happens after she can't kill the prince. I think I might be forgetting some other points too.

"As time passed every night the Prince could see a figure out on the rocks just outside his castle walls. One night in his old age he slipped out and saw the figure up close realising it was the young mute that had disappeared on his wedding night as well as being the mermaid that saved his life. For once again a mermaid time no longer held the same sway for her as him. Upon the now kings death the young mermaid herself died of heartache and the gods of the sea took pity on her and raised her up into the stars for all to see." I could feel myself beginning to drift off, I know one thing for sure half my story didn't feel right. Oh well.

"Not a bad story my little birdie, I think being depressed made it take a sour turn but a good story. I don't like happy endings anyway." He laughed again that soft chuckle still running his hand through my hair. I'm glad he stopped moving his hand up and down my side at least. "Maybe I'll get you to tell me a story about the stars more often and not just on special occasions."

"Sure thing old man" He laughed again "Now can I get up and go to bed before you drag me to yours?" Feeling his arm move so I could get off his lap I hopped out of his grasp, one of his hands ghosted along my side. He stood leaning down near my face again, from one personal bubble to another. "Thank you for the cupcake little birdie. Now go to bed we have work to do in the morning."

Before I could say anything he kissed me. What the hell you perverted old man! Again, before I could do anything he stood up and walked off back towards the castle. "Stupid friggin pink idiot" I muttered under my breath. Making my way back to room I found myself wondering something, if he doesn't like happy endings does that mean he doesn't expect a happy ending to his own tale? For some reason I feel a slight pain in my chest. Dammit this is not good. Oh well I'll blame it on the whiskey, by tomorrow morning I'll just have a headache and have forgotten about this. Damn birthdays.


	11. Chapter 10

Luna - I know you'd think after this amount of time Mel would have learned it's easier just to answer him. Silly girl.

Trich - I'll try to keep them coming haha.

sword slasher - You've given me a wonderful, terrible idea!

So for this chapter I wrote it, and rewrote it, deleted it and started over and rewrote it again. So if it's terrible I'm sorry you may murder me.

I own nothing but OCs

* * *

The someone had been Doflamingo who had grabbed me "Fufufufufu, run away from Baby 5 so soon again little Birdie? I have a better punishment in mind if that's the case." While all the alarms in my head were going off Baby 5 whipped around the corner her hand in the shape of a gun. Wait a gun? What the hell. Where the hell is her hand! People don't have guns for hands!

"I'm sorry young master I thought something had happened to Mel." What the hell her hand is a freaking gun, and it just changed back into a hand. "No worries baby 5 I thought my cute little birdie had run away again."

My mind is running a mile a minute after what I just saw I can feel the sweat running down my face. "I don't feel so good." Then everything went black.

Doflamingo roared with laughter at the woman who had passed out in his arms "Looks like there's been a little too much excitement for my little birdie today." When she had pitched forward he had simply wrapped one of his arms around her waist. He didn't want that pretty face of hers ruined, if he was going to have a new person in his study all the time he wanted to at least enjoy looking at them.

"I'll take her back to her room young master" Baby 5 offered moving forward to remove Mel from his grasp. "No I think I'll hold on to her for now. You're dismissed Baby 5, come to my room in the morning to get her." He had to admit to himself she seemed interesting so far and he was intrigued by her. So far most women that came to see him offered to spread their legs the first chance they got. Not her she had asked to become his accountant which he still didn't understand.

After the first few hours with her he thought she might have been an assailant of some kind, or a thief. Clearly not a well thought out plan if she was one of the previously mentioned professions. Both in her first few, and the past few hours had proven she was neither. After all one doesn't pass out at the sight of a devil fruit user like she did. She may in fact be from another world which made his grin even wider. 'You keep turning out to be more and more interesting my little toy.' Throwing the unconscious women over his shoulder he left the library and headed towards his own room.

He walked by Elizabeth who had been lurking outside his door. As much as he would have loved the company from the tall blond woman he already had plans for the night.

Elizabeth moved forward wearing next to nothing and placed a hand on his chest "Care for some company young master? I know you've had a hard day today, I'd love to help you" She stepped closer looking up at him and running her tongue over her top lip "Relax." She giggled he may have hated her personality, but she did perform some exemplary services in the bedroom.

"Fufufufufu if you had paid more attention you would have noticed I already have company for tonight." The look of confusion on her face turned to one of rage after noticing who was thrown over his shoulders.

"Why waste time on someone like her, wouldn't you rather enjoy your time with a women that doesn't passes out in your magnificence?" Doflamingo simply pushed back her, when she made to follow he slammed the door in her face. 'I have a new toy. Much more interesting than a whore who just wants money. It's soon time for a new whore anyway.' He dumped her on his bed then proceeded to remove his pointed shoes and coat.

Going back to his bed he removed the boots from her feet, soft supple leather, from what he had seen of her so far she must have gotten them for a cheap price. As he paid more attention he noticed the second boot had a gouge in it. He dropped down on the bed beside her and watched her. The way she had fallen had left her dark hair covering most of her face, he liked the face.

Reaching over and moving some of the hair out of her face he laughed 'you're going to be a fun toy to break little birdie'. He moved so he could run his hands down over her back to find the edge of her shirt, and pulled it up over her head. She let out a large snort, he laughed at her again. Mel was rather easy to move around when she was in a state between sleep and unconscion.

With the shirt off he found his fingers exploring the expanse of her stomach and back, he found his fingers tracing a scar just above her right hip. He'd have to ask her about it next time she was conscious. He also found a small compass rose tattoo on her right shoulder blade, a little on the cute side too. He liked it. knowing she could handle a tattoo where there was very little meat left him thinking where he was going to leave his own permanent mark on her.

Getting up again he pulled his own shirt off and threw it over towards his coat, crawling back into his bed he pulled the smaller women towards him. "Fufufufufu sleep tight little birdie. We're going to have a long day tomorrow."

* * *

What a weird dream, I must have fallen asleep in the library or something. No way I was awake for that, people can't make there hands turn into weapons. Talking toys I'm starting to get over only because I keep thinking of them as being animatronics or something similar. Since I don't know a lot about them it makes sense.

After the whole hand thing it was watching the pages of a book flip, except instead of the printed word the pages held images. Most were a jumbled mass of coloured, like someone had taken cans of paint and just thrown them across the pages at random times. A few times I think I saw flashes of pink that match Doflamingo's coat, why the hell am I dreaming about that bipolar pink idiot?

I'm starting to wake up, at least I better be if I'm this lucid and remembering the crap I dream about. This is nice, its toasty in this room this morning I'm not sure I really want to get up yet and deal with Baby 5. Or the Pink idiot. Ever since I got here he's been the main cause of my problem. I know my stress level is going up because I can feel how tense my back is, moving my shoulders back to crack the bones I felt something warm behind me.

Something warm and smooth. Wait. Back up, if I fell asleep in the library why the hell am I in a bed. And what the hell is behind me. Twisting my head back I see a sight that makes me let out a scream. Oh and in my attempt to get out of the bed I fell off. Or at least partially. My legs are still on the bed, and my back in flat on the floor. Damn that hurts "Fufufufufu good morning little birdie."

"What the hell are you doing on my room!" coming to my feet and struggling with the sheets that I had become tangled up in. "And where in gods name is my shirt you pink freak!" This is too much what the hell is he doing. Son of a bitch I'm mad! Who the hell does he think he is? Sneaking into someone else room and crawling into bed with them and takes their shirt off! Yea it might be his home but there are goddamn boundaries! I'm pacing again, there's going to be a strip worn out in this floor. Wait a second, this floor is red … mines beige.

"Fufufufufu, silly little birdie, you're not in your room. I took you to bed with me last night, your shirt is on the chair" he jerked his head towards a huge chair set in the middle of the room. "Did you sleep well little birdie?" Turning red I whip around and grab my shirt cursing. Pulling my shirt out and hauling it over my head I noticed it smelt a lot like whatever kind of cologne he wears. Just great, anyone who I pass in the hallways back to my room is going to know just where I've been. Wonderful.

"Pound sand ya jerk-off" Fully dressed I headed for the door. "Where are you going Little Birdie?"

"To find Baby 5 and get the hell out of here. I thought you might have figured it out by now, ya pink jerk" Oh I'm pissed he doesn't get the fact I'm upset after what he did. My hands are out and waving around. I must look like a mad women. If it wasnt me in this situation I'd be laughing my ass off if I could see it. "Since you said I'll get punished when she's not around I'm not willing to take a chance on what you might be planning to do."

"Silly birdie, that only applies when I'm not around." Oh I hate that damn grin of his "I just want to make sure my new accountant is safe. When you passed out last night I thought this was the best place for you fufufufufu."

"Your a vain fool you know that! Passing out doesn't mean I need someone to look after me." I froze, the wheels in my head turning. Shit that means what I saw last night was the real thing. Her hands turned into a gun, oh I don't feel good again. Staggering to my knees I tried to gulp down deeper breaths, I better not pass out again in this idiots presence. "Calm down my little birdie" if I wasn't freaking out from the panic in my brain I would have flinched at his touch. "Deep breaths, slow and steady" my back was pressed against his chest, I could feel one of his hands running over my scalp. Focus on that, not the gun hands. I shudder again. This isn't real, it can't be real.

"Hush little birdie, hush" his breath was hot on my ear, I can't keep coming back to what I saw its too much. Too much outside of what I know is possible "Tell me … tell me I'm not crazy … that what I saw …" my breathing is getting more erratic this isn't good! "Tell me what I ... saw is real. That I'm … not ... losing my mind" I was gulping air down like it was the first time using my lungs. My heart feels like it's beating nonstop trying to get the air I was gulping down to the rest of my body.

"Saw what little birdie?" He cooed, dammit a few minutes ago I was fuming mad at this idiot and now I'm relying on him to keep me from passing out. "Dont make me say it" I can feel the tears running down my face "Please."

"You need to say it, just telling you its real won't let you grasp the concept my little bird. It's too soon for you to break yet." His hand hasn't stopped and he's moved his face forward so his check is next to mine. "Now say it"

"I can't" The tears are falling now, jesus I keep seeing the same image over and over again. Baby 5's small hands turning into pistols. "I can't" I felt his hand pause before he moved it down and forced my chin up. How the hell did I not notice the huge mirror he's got on the far wall. Right now I'm not a fan of the image in it.

His body engulfs mine, I look so small with him around me. I'm pale, far more than usual the tears are making it worse. He looks so calm, at least from what I can tell of his posture and the small bit of his face. His sunglasses are hiding the rest again. "Say it." Watching him say it I saw the slight glimmer of anger underneath the giant smirk on his face. Staring at the image I started to talk "In the library, when you grabbed me. It scared me, I wasn't expecting it Baby 5 must have come running when she heard me. When she came around the corner." I paused swallowing hard again "She came around the corner and I thought she had two guns in her hands. It made sense at first, she must have weapons if she's a pirate and she carries that rifle on her back. Than" His hand had started to move he was running his fingers through my hair again. I felt the panic and bile coming back.

"Keep going" he whispered "Than, when she saw it was you. In … instead of putting the guns away they changed... changed back into her hands. I … I don't understand how." By the time I finished I was shaking like a leaf blowing in the wind. He was smiling again. how the hell can he be smiling right now. "It's called a devil fruit. Fruit that give the person who eats them the power of the sea devil. There are a lot more out there than just Baby 5, when you're of a more "He paused taking the time to let his tongue roll out, and place his own cheek against mine "stable mind. I'll tell you more about them, just know there are a lot more people around that have eaten the fruit than you think. Can you handle standing my little birdie?"

I shook my head still trying to take deep breaths I leaned back, even saying it my mind is still trying to get a hold of what I saw. He just laughed again hands still moving "We can't stay here all day, I planned on getting you started as my bookkeeper today. If you stay here we can't get started." I'm not sure I can but taking a deep breath I rose on shaking legs. Doflamingo still behind me his hand had stopped running through my hair. I could still feel them just to my sides, I kept taking deep breaths.

At the knock on the door I practically jumped out of my skin "Who's there?" He called turning to face it, from the sing song tone his voice took I get the feeling he knows who it is. Sure enough Baby 5 answered asking if I was still here. Oh great to add more to my shame she knew I was in here with him, I wonder who else knows I spent the night here. "Think you can go manage to get back to your room and get ready for the day little birdie?" I nodded, I'm not sure trying to speak yet is really a good idea.

I followed behind Baby 5 out the door a little wary of her, I hope I don't see part of her turn into a gun again anytime soon. Don't think like that, don't think like that. I felt myself shudder again at the image in my head. Taking a deep breath I tried to focus on anything but the woman in front of me. I have a long way to go to understanding this crazy world.

Closing the door Doflamingo laughed to himself "you're going to be a fun toy my little birdie, I'm sure I'll find a few uses for you in the future"


	12. Chapter 11

sword slasher - That doesn't help! Still glad for the review though.

Luna - Thanks for the super long review again :)

I own nothing but OCs

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I've been sitting in my bathroom for almost an hour now just not moving. I know I can't sit in here forever, but it's too much to handle. Doflamingo said there are other people out there with fruit powers like Baby 5. Does that mean more like her or are they all different? How many of them are there? Is it a common thing or is it something rare?

This place is just too insane. How the hell am I suppose to know what to do if people have random freaking abilities that defy nature? Holding my head in my hands I sigh. I can't sit in here all day and if I keep thinking about it I'm going to pass out again.

Getting up I fill the tub and throw my clothes in the basket, taking a deep breath I start getting ready for the day.

Finishing getting ready for the day I was thankful for the fact I didn't see anyone as Baby 5, and I made our way back to my room. I was also thankful she didn't try to talk to me about last night, I'm not really sure I'm ready to handle the whole 'my hands turn into guns' thing no matter what Doflamingo said. Or the fact I smelled like him, damn he smells good.

Too bad he's a murderous pirate otherwise I might have a thing for him, he is good looking, if only the personality was a little more appealing. Oh well, like Mother used to say 'Lots of fish in the sea.' Plus I don't think her or Dad would have approved of a pirate, I can picture both of them know. Mom stood next to stove tapping her foot on the ground, arms crossed, Dad would be sitting in his chair at the head of the table. His glass of whiskey next to him and he'd be scowling, Doflamingo might be a pirate, but that wouldn't have stopped Dad from tying him to a rock and throwing him into the bay. Crazy old coot.

I laughed at the image in my head shaking it, I have to try, and stay in the here and now not the past. Leads down a path I don't feel like walking today after everything else so far. Plus staying out of the past will keep me from thinking about more recent events as well. I shudder at the image of Baby 5's hands turning into guns again. Walking back into my room from the bathroom I look at Baby 5 who apparently while I was getting showered had gone, and picked up some breakfast for the two of us.

Now is as good a time as any to talk about last night. At least without getting into the nitty gritty details. I might not want to think about it, but I need to clear the air with her. I took a deep breath before I started. "I'm sorry"

"Huh?" Not what I was expecting, from her response I guess she wasn't either. "I'm sorry for last night. I kind of wasn't expecting anything like that. You know the fact that you can do the stuff you can do, I didn't mean to freak, and pass out." I swallowed don't think about the image and, I felt the shuddered down my spine again. "So I'm sorry I passed out and that when Doflamingo grabbed me I screamed. It must have made your worry a bit and I'm sorry for that." Why the hell is she smiling about that. Maybe there's a slight sick side to Baby 5.

"Don't worry about it Mel. I did think something might have happened, but I may have overreacted. I didn't even think of the fact with you not being from here you might not know about devil fruits" she's wringing her hands together. Shit I didn't even think she might feel guilty for making me pass out. "I should have thought about what happened with the toys earlier and known you would freak out. I just didn't expect that." So, she didn't expect me to pass out and I didn't expect to pass out, what a coincidence.

"Well I guess we both don't need to worry than. Just in the future give me a heads up so I can look away alright?" We both laughed, it was then I realised she had a pot of coffee on my desk. All is forgiven! Who cares about fruit and waffles when I can have coffee! Half a pot later I finally asked "So what's on the go for today?"

"The young master said he wants you meet him in his study, I think he might have plans to get you started soon." That is some fantastic freaking news, I can dive right into some numbers and go from there. Something to keep me sane in this crazy place, plus I don't have to worry about Doflamingo deciding to kill me for being a waste of space. Or trying to get me to be a cleaner.

"Did he give a time or just show up?" Ah man even the waffles here are damn good, I'm not sure the fat pants I bought are going to be big enough. "Whenever we're done he wants you to head there. I'll escort you, I doubt you want a repeat of yesterday. I'm sure the young master would enjoy it." I groaned at her and rolled my eyes.

"Just because I forgave you for the other stuff doesn't mean you get to say anything like that. My embarrassment level couldn't take it." Glancing around the room again I think we should raid another whores' room, but for a table this time. Make more sense than eating breakfast at my desk and Baby 5 from the dresser. I think I'd like a little couch too.

"No, but you could tell me about your night after the library" Why the hell is she grinning at me? Oh lord no, she thinks I did something with the pink giant.

"Seriously? So after passing out the next thing I remember is waking up with the 'young master' and aside from a missing shirt I was still fully clothed." I pointed my knife at her "nothing happened, so drop the subject." Well at least I know Baby 5 is like the typical gossip girl, so long as I tell her the truth I should be okay. "Oh and can we maybe keep the fact I spent the night with him between us. I don't want his little whores getting jealous knowing where I spent the night. Last thing I need is a whore jealous for the wrong reason."

"Fine, but I still think there's something you're not telling me." I'm not telling her about my freak out yet or how Doflamingo helped me through it. Maybe this will satisfy her "This morning he talked me through a panic attack about last night. That's the end of it" she nodded. Alright no need for her know about the closeness and me breaking down with him. I don't I've ever had someone get that close to me like that before or be large enough to cover my entire body, and wrap around it.

"Let's getting going than. I'm sure I have lots of work to do" walking out the door Baby 5 surprised me by turning and putting a small key in the door to lock it. "Figured since we just got you the furniture you might want to hold on to it" passing a second key to me I placed it in my pocket.

"Thanks" no matter what may happen I'm glad Baby 5 is here with me, being in a world all on it's own is hard. I think it would be even harder without someone to help me. In a weird way Baby 5 is kind of like one of my sisters. I was the youngest girl with my closest sister being eight by the time I was born. My eldest sister was twenty three with her own kid by then and it seemed like with the three of them I always had someone looking out for me.

I just hope that we can manage to keep a relationship like this, I'm not sure I could hit it off as well with anyone else I've met here so far.


End file.
